It sucks that you don’t even care, or check for me, knowing how many nights I spent crying over you. I guess I deserved it though. I treated you horribly. I was the worst girlfriend ever, I’m not afraid to admit it. If I could take back anything, it would be all the fights I started over irrelevant shit. If it’s one thing I regret the most, it’s taking you for granted, thinking you’d always be there. I wish I could have a second chance to make everything right, but just like me, you don’t believe in second chances. Or maybe you do, but I probably fucked up so badly a second choice wasn’t even an option.
To hear your friends tell me I need to get over you ‘cause you’re not checking for me and don’t give a shit about me, hurts. It really hurts. I can’t seem to get over you. No matter how many times I say it, I know deep down I’m just lying to myself and to the people I tell that to. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over you. The way you made me feel, I’ll never forget any moment I had with you. I mean it’s not like I randomly met you and we talked for two weeks and then you asked me out. No. We were best friends for over 2 and a half years. To most people that’s nothing. But to me those 2 and a half years were the best years of my life. I became a better person. Especially around you. You brought out the happy, weird, crazy side of me. Eventually I fell in love with you. I didn’t label you as my boyfriend, I labelled you as my bestest friend. ‘cause that was what you were. my bestest friend in the whole wide world. the only guy who truly knew me. all my secrets, my fears, my likes, dislikes. everything. I’d start a sentence and you’d finish it for me.
I just what I’m trying to say is I miss you; I miss you so fucking much. and while I’m writing this, there are tears streaming down my face because I don’t know how I’m going to function without you in my life as my bestest friend. hell just being my best friend is hard because i want to crack jokes but then I’ll make it awkward ‘cause you’ll take it the wrong way. jsdhkdsjhjkd
i fucking miss you.
